Pravda Ne'eman

Halacha L'Maaseh for Gosse

2008-08-29T16:30:00.000-04:00

According to Gosse and his supporters, do human remains which are dated as older than 6000 years convey tuma'as meis? Since they were just created as remains and never lived, I would assume the answer is no. This has practical ramifications for Kohanim who wish to visit museums containing prehistoric human remains.

If they do in fact convey tuma'as meis, what about other hominid species such as neanderthals?

JD and MD

Yated MD: Paging Dr. Yechiel Sever

2008-08-19T00:09:00.000-04:00

The Yated Ne'eman's Yechiel Sever reports that a Beit Shemesh community has recently "started operating a bilirubinometer," sparing parents the need to take their children to Jerusalem to have such testing performed.

According to ace reporter Sever:

"The test is performed on babies suspected of having hepatitis, which is relatively common among newborns."

Lest any people rely on the Yated for medical advice (and unfortunately, I do not doubt the existence of many such pious idiots), it should be reiterated that hepatitis is not common (relatively or otherwise) among newborns.

Yechiel Sever is presumably referring to neonatal jaundice, which in most newborns is decidedly unrelated to hepatitis.

In other infant news, according to a peer-reviewed article in Pediatrics, the following can actually cause neonatal herpes infections: metzitzah b'peh.

J."you don't need an MD to use Wikipedia" D.

Rabbi Oliver on the Infallibility of the Rebbe

2008-08-18T18:00:00.001-04:00

A Chossid accepts the words of his Rebbe fully and unconditionally with pure emunas Tzadikim as emes la'amitoi (the absolute truth). If he is indeed a Chossid, he has not the slightest shadow of doubt that what he is told by his Rebbe is Shechina medaberes mi'toch grono of the Rebbe. Does he understand what his Rebbe says? Not necessarily. But his approach is not predicated upon intellect, but upon emunah.

Thus it is out of the question for him to "second-guess" his Rebbe, G-d forbid, and decide that he knows better in some case. Not that he can't try to understand why his Rebbe would have told him as he did; on the contrary, he can and he should. But even if he doesn't understand, he accepts and obeys regardless because of his pure emunah that Hashem is speaking to him through his Rebbe.

Comments, anyone?

Chabad's Trilemma

2008-08-17T10:28:00.002-04:00

It is good to see that "Lord, Liar, Lunatic" is alive and well in Crown Heights.

Rabbi Yehoishophot Oliver writes as follows:

Think about it. A person comes to the Rebbe. It’s an emergency. Should he follow the doctor’s advice to operate on his child. Rebbe, I’m asking for your berocho. I’m relying on you.

Anyone who could even dare to open his mouth to answer this question is one of two things:

1. A megalomaniac, someone so power-hungry and giddy with excitement at the adulation that he receives that he can ignore the safety of the child that common sense says should be left in the doctor’s expert hands.

2. A truly holy person, one with intimate connections to deeper spiritual realities, who knows full well what responsibility he takes, and does so nevertheless because he is one hundred percent sure, according to the “connections” he has on High, that this is what is correct. To paraphrase Chaim Fogelman, “he saw it with his eyes.”

Even without the concept of emunah in Tzaddikim because Torah tells us so—just from a purely logical perspective—there is no third possibility. If the person is not aware of what he is doing, or imagines that he is aware when in fact he isn’t, then by definition he is a megalomaniac.

J.D.

Better Let Rabbi Falk Say It

2008-08-12T16:13:00.000-04:00

Rabbi Falk on why his books should be burned:

"In general, it must be understood that there are very different standards of Yiddishkeit... Therefore, singular 'streamlined advice' that is disseminated to the wide Jewish public is likely to be badly flawed and must be treated with suspicion and misgiving."

(Choson and Kallah During Their Engagement, pp 117-118)

J.D.

Rabbi Falk: Check Lettuce for Bugs, Books for Illustrated Genitalia

2008-08-11T17:45:00.002-04:00

From Rabbi Yehoshua Falk's Oz Vehadar Levushah (available free online here), via Josh Waxman's Parsha blog:

On Sundays, Rabbi Falk can be found ministering at the venerable parish of St. Loony up the Cream Bun and Jam.

J.D.

M.D. on Yechezkel Hirshman

2008-08-10T16:30:00.000-04:00

Yechezkel Hirshman, defending the Chareidi thugs who beat Mrs. Miriam Shear for not sitting at the back of the bus, writes that Mrs. Shear is no Orthodox Rosa Parks. In an imaginary dialogue between God and Mrs. Shear upon her death and arrival at the Pearly Gates (!!!), Hirshman writes:

You have no idea what Rosa Parks felt. She was the victim of discrimination.

Rosa Parks was relegated to the back of the bus when any white woman could sit wherever she wants. Why should one woman be able to sit wherever she wants and another woman needs to sit in the back of the bus? But you were entitled to sit where any other woman was entitled to sit. In my eyes, all women are created equal. Nobody was discriminating against you. Any other woman would have been ushered to the back if she sat where you sat except that most of them do not need to be told.

M.D. comments:

This post is disgusting - I agree with anonymous, it oozes condescension and presumptuousness.

But to discuss a few specific points, let me paraphrase what you said.

An answer to Rosa Parks:

Why should one Jew be able to sit wherever she wants and another Jew needs to sit in the back of the bus? But you were entitled to sit where any other black person was entitled to sit. In my eyes, all blacks are created equal. Nobody was discriminating against you. Any other black would have been ushered to the back if she sat where you sat except that most of them do not need to be told.

A Thoughtful and Mature Response: Pravda Ne'eman's Commentors Are Dumb Bitches

2008-08-06T14:30:00.001-04:00

A Secular Jew addresses the esteemed Haloscan-dwellers of Pravda Ne'eman. Truly precious:

So what happened was I posted on Pravda Ne'eman's site under the guest post of my response that if there's one more dumb ass comment I am going to satirize these mother @*!#ers. Pravda Ne'eman's editors were *&%$es so my warning post did not make it past comment moderation.

Before I deal with ripping the commentors to shreds, it is helpful for you to actually read the comments at http://www.chareidi.com/2008/08/secular-jew-responds.html for the sake of providing context and thus a fuller understanding of my post.

The commentors to the thread with my guest post are as follows:

Sam = Moron. Does not understand highly common colloquial speech.

Doughboy = Moron. Mistakes highly common colloquial speech for actual serious accusations. Further, J.D.'s actions really was sleazy (the spelling as sleezy brings up 707,000 hits on Google).

R2D2 = he's a special case, probably a definitearticlephiliac. This guy is obsessed with the word "the." On the welcome mat of his house, it does not say "WELCOME;" it says, "THE." As a career, R2D2 is going to be the New York Times' "The" Detective who is going to bravely surf the internet to find instances of using the name New York Times with out the word "THE" and then boldly correcting the egregious error. Next, he is going to be the United States' ambassador to Russia where he will introduce the definite article into Russian grammar and then he will be hailed as a hero throughout the Russian Federation.

R2D2 is not going to stop there. R2D2 is going to want to be fair to the indefinite article, s0 he is going to go to middle eastern countries, both arab and the 1 jewish state, to demand that Arabic and Hebrew gives the indefinite article equal treatment. This commitment to the definite article and fairness to the indefinite article is going to make R2D2 a shining example for many generations to come to those who would plot unfairness throughout the world.

R2D2 (in reality) = Moron.

Then there is patrilineal jew who takes the most trivial spelling errors and turns them into cardinal sins. He'd be a great orthodox jew.

Second to last (at the time of this writing) is Freethinking Upstart. Freethinking Upstart is a whiny bitch ass who is trying to not be a parrot of everything that rabbis told him, but from the way he argued with me on my blog, this loser can't help himself.

Lastly (at the time of this writing) is Baruch Pelta. Baruch was incredibly impressed that all J.D. had to do was post my response on his blog, and the parrots of the rabbis automatically started bashing it, (trivial spelling errors instead of actual points that I bring up). This guy is a Baal Tshuva and a lover of history, which of course means he was moving his bowels while the history teacher was giving a lesson on primary and secondary sources, and why oral traditions are not equally reliable with written traditions.

In conclusion, Pravada Ne'eman, your commentors suck.

"A Secular Jew" Responds

2008-08-04T17:49:00.001-04:00

Unedited from SJ's post entitled: Pravda Ne'eman says 'Defamation is Cool'

Ok so this smart ass editor of the blog Pravda Ne'eman with a J.D. degree, who calls himself J.D., has defamed me by trying to say on their blog that I am motivated by being rejected by an orthodox girl by quoting that post I made about the girl who was pissy with me. I was never even interested in that girl.

Before that he speaks about putting "links to my blog on other people's blogs as if it was a cardinal sin of blogging so to speak, which is ridiculous. This wierd woman put a link to her blog on my blog and I didn't cry like a little bitch the way J.D. did in his post.

After that JD mentions my blog when I said "WE [ORTHODOX JEWS] ARE NOT TOO STRICT! THE TALMUD IS ONLY 5,422 PAGES LONG!!!" And when JD tried to make it like the talmud's size is no big deal by trying to compare it to American law, JD makes the logical error of comparing a legal code in a religion that's meant to regulate every aspect of a person's life to a legal code in a free society.

Then J.D. said, "First of all, it is worth noting that SJ seems to feel that such trivialities as spelling, grammar and punctuation are for the birds. Fine. But he also seems to feel similarly about clear thinking and reasoning," and a commentor on the thread in JD's blog said referring to me, "he uses language and grammar that is reasonably sophisticated."

It seems that J.D. is a snob who feels that anything that is not written New York Times quality is automatically not worth reading. Since my blog is just my opinion I don't feel a need to proofread every last punctuation mark. Further, its not even a professional blog, its just my opinion and I do feel that I make my point articulately enough.

Another point is that J.D. bashed me for saying "Let us presume that God intended Judaism to be a Judaism that the majority of jews can follow with minimum difficulty. Let us presume that God intended Judaism to be a Judaism that the majority of jews can follow with minimum difficulty. any more difficulty beyond the minimum would be self flagellation and self flagellation is retarded." Well what kind of religion do you want, one that only a minimum of Jews can do with a maximum of difficulty?

So to conclude this post allow me to say what in fact motivates me to blog, the insane rules that orthodox judaism has, and the lack of being able to disagree in orthodox judaism and still be apart of the community. If orthodox judaism succeeds in being the only possible sect of judaism out there, the jewish people will be a fascist state in the midst of a free country. I am not on a mission to save the jews from self inflicted fascism, but merely to voice my opinion and ridicule all the crap that's going on.

So by the way, mr. faggot religious lawyer, i expect my apology for your defamation of me in your blog (of course none is going to come). I think I pretty much established in my previous post that the only thing worse than a sleezy lawyer is a sleezy orthodox lawyer.

The Toby-Katz-Inspired Approach to Domestic Violence

2008-08-01T15:50:00.001-04:00

In honor of Toby's unprecedented tantrum on Cross Currents:

In all the articles and comments about whether wives are not abused by their husbands, one major factor I haven’t seen mentioned is the character of the individual wife. I know a woman who is a sweet, outgoing, pleasant, talented, easy-going person, and she finds her husband to be delightful and wonderful. He is good, warm, intelligent, altogether admirable. I know another woman who is sour, dour, prickly and altogether a difficult person, and she finds that her husband is cold, unwelcoming, uncaring, and smacks her around from time to time. And both of these women formed their impressions while married to the same man! Fancy that.

...

To clarify:

My point about how husbands act was not “A wife should put on a false smile, and overlook all the crockery that her husband throws her way.” It was, “If you are nice to other people, they will be nice to you.” This is a worthwhile lesson for everyone to learn, not only abused women.

...

OMG!!! WTH!!!! Can't you people get it straight?!?!

It is astonishing to me that people find such difficulty simply reading the words on a page (or on the screen). Three quarters of the comments here would have been rendered entirely moot had people simply READ my opening sentence. Here it is. Read it. It answers all criticisms:

–begin quote–
In all the articles and comments about whether wives are not abused by their husbands, one major factor I haven’t seen mentioned is the character of the individual wife.
–end quote–

OK, for you dyslexics out there, let’s read this slowly and carefully. Did you get that phrase “one major factor”? Let’s look at it again. *ONE* major factor.

And did you get that bit about “In all the articles and comments…..”? Huh? Huh? See, that means “There have been a LOT OF ARTICLES AND COMMENTS and they raised a lot of points and I don’t have to rehash EVERY SINGLE POINT EVERYONE EVER MADE before I can add one more comment of my own!”

I just wanted to add ONE factor, one factor that nobody else mentioned. I did not want to, and did not need to, repeat what everybody else has already hashed and rehashed ad infinitum, about everything that is wrong with men, especially abusive men. It’s coming out of my ears already. Got that? OK everybody now go away, all this negativity is totally getting on my nerves.

Man, I love being a moderator here on X-Currents. No one else would get away with a post like this...

...

Actually, one more things, you lousy good-for-nothings...

Mrs Fleece, you wrote: “…in concert with intellectual honesty, the 2 examples you cite hardly constitute a scientific poll”

That’s an incredibly insulting and condescending remark. Did I claim it was a scientific poll? Do I have to cite footnotes and sources, before I can write one paragraph on a blog?!

You then wrote:

“As an example: For over a year I was married to a nice man. I was very nice to him, too. Every Erev Shabbat he brought me roses… And then, when he was in a bad mood, everything changed, and he broke my nose.”

How ironic! You made your point — by bringing an example!

Possibly you yourself realized that the pot was calling the kettle black, because you quickly added, “I have far more anecdotes.”

Well, guess what? So do I. And I'm the moderator. So I can post as many as I want. And you can't. So ha!

< flounces away petulantly >

M.D.

Say it ain't so, Ho(rowitz)! (UPDATED)

2008-07-29T16:15:00.001-04:00

Jacob da Jew posted an interesting letter to and response by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz on the subject of the age of the universe.

Sara (who has probably never read an uncensored high school biology/geology/history text in her life) asks:

Can I read that book to my children and discuss with them the fact that there are people (even smart people) in the world who believe this, yet help them understand our belief that the Torah – which is the emes – teaches us that the world is 5,768 years old?

I want my children to know that there are people who incorrectly believe this, and I also would like them to hear this from me – and not from someone who doesn’t have proper hashkafos. At the same time, I understand that the theory of evolution is not accepted in the Torah world.

Don't. Say. Anything. Mean.

Must. Restrain. Myself.

Rabbi Horowitz responds:

Our own understanding of things, namely the fact that there are objects in our world that appearto be more than 5,766 years old, is not, in and of itself, a contradiction to our emunah. Hashem created a world that was mature and developed. The trees had rings and the stones appeared to be timeworn. In fact, the Midrash states (Bereshis Rabbah 8:14) that Adam was created not as an infant, but rather as an adult with the developed body of a 20-year-old. Thus only two years after the world was created, Adam would have appeared to be 22 years old when it was only two years after he was created. So, too, a tree may have appeared to be hundreds of years old during the second year of creation. The same line of reasoning would apply to stones, canyons, etc.

I do not wish to mince words here, but Rabbi Horwitz's response, while well-meaning, is pure and utter hogwash.

Better let Dr. Ken Miller Sc.B, Ph.D, professor of biology at Brown University say it:
(Lest anyone think that Dr. Miller is a militant atheist out on a quest to destroy religion, please remember that he authored Finding Darwin's God: A Scientist's Search for Common Ground Between God and Evolution)

[UPDATE: Moshe Y. Gluck points out that Dr. Ken Miller doesn't really address Philip Henry Gosse... er... Rabbi Horowitz's response. Moshe is only partially correct. For most Chareidim, the Omphalos hypothesis is only tenable because deep down (or not, depending on the fanaticism of the said Chareidi) they don't think the evidence for evolution, an ancient universe, etc. is all that convincing. Generally, this is because they have never been exposed to it in any formal way. The Dr. Miller video addresses that point.

However, to respond to the actual claim made by Rabbi Horowitz, better let BrooklynWolf say it.]

J.D.

Help! Solve This Shidduch Crisis

2008-07-28T17:50:00.000-04:00

We received the following shidduch resume from a chareidi.com reader and are hoping that someone out there knows of the perfect bochur for this wonderful aidel maidel:

Date of Birth: 3-4-1989

Yichus: Father is a yeshiva educated day trader who learns two daily sedarim in BMG; has been previously investigated by FBI for fraud but never did any jail time; big baal tzedaka who has been honored by BMG twice; mother is a retired BY teacher; youngest child with four brothers and 11 sisters all living off of the Lakewood General Fund and mechutanim from Brooklyn; other pedigree relatively clean, except for a 4th cousin, once removed who attended YU and is now a successful Ophthalmologist in Teaneck

Parents looking for: solid learner from Brisk or Lakewood with neither a history of college nor foreseeable parnassa plans who will sit in Kollel indefinitely; she is looking for the same; father willing to support 10 years @$75k per year, pending no stays in Otisville

Appearance: dark hair with standard BY hairstyle; 5'4" with dress Size 2 (Mother's size after her seventh child: Size 8)

Shadchan: Mrs. Goldberg of Lakewood (25% commission)

Dating History: has gone out a few times with no measurable success; feedback from Mrs. Goldberg points to her having the charisma of a carrot

Photo: yearbook picture available if requested through Torah channels

Education
K-12: Bais Yaakov of Lakewood
Seminary: BJJ
Post-Seminary: Online program to obtain teaching certificate from Torah Umesorah

Work Experience
1996-1998: Counselor in several backyard camps in Brooklyn and Lakewood
2006-2008: Teacher's aide in BY of Lakewood

Hanhagos and Opinions Checklist (Based on Interview with Shadchan)
Tehillim: completes Sefer once a week while standing in line at Jewish stores
Mother's use of Sabbath Mode oven: not any more
Posek: Rav C. Kanievsky or Rav Elyashiv if his line is busy
Internet: only with Torahnet filter on Tati's business computer
Use of a community Eruv: never (she's looking for a Brisker, remember?!)
Indian Hair Sheitels: only if on sale
Seat Belt Use: No, unless pulled over by a female Police Officer
Hobbies: reading Artscroll biographies, Yated, Hamodia, and Mishpacha; challah baking; asking shailos to Gedolim about her shidduch difficulties
Her Preferred Dating Venue: Airport lounges without visible TV monitors
Boys She Would Not Date: guys without BTEP (behind-the-ear-peyos), BT's, OTD's who have straightened out; guys whose Rabbeim believe that the Universe may be older than 5768 years old; guys who read Making of a Gadol or any of Slifkin's books
Ideal Wedding: Chossen and Kallah adopt demeanor combining themes of Tisha B'Av and Yom Kippur; eyes-closed Tehillim throughout ceremony; kibbudim called up in Yiddish; separate everything including parking areas; Simchas Chossen V'Kallah at 10:30 PM; no Onlysimchas posting
Shabbos Table: White table cloth, no plastic covers, no ground beef or plate scraping at the table
Would be willing to live in: Lakewood, Brooklyn, Monsey, Passaic (or Baltimore for a few years)
Music Preferences: Yeshiva Boys Choir; no more Lipa, Schwecky, or Carlebach
Ideal Chesed Opportunities: helping put out cold beer and cholent at neighborhood Shalom Zachars; assisting with mass mailings from Oorah and Kupat Hair

Doubleplusungood

2008-07-25T13:30:00.000-04:00

Shira Schmidt throws Chareidi women under the bus:

“I see Haredi women who sit at the back as being the Israeli Rosa Parks,” said writer Shira Leibowitz Schmidt, one of the leading proponents of segregation. “We see it as a stand against the deterioration of standards in the public arena, and view the chance to sit at the back without men gazing at us as a form of empowerment.”

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

J.D.

Yated: Don't Taze Me, Bro!

2008-07-21T13:30:00.001-04:00

It seems that the Yated, due to a marked decline in subscribers, has branched out into satire, following the lead of this blog, Pravda Ne'eman:

In the case of airlines that show movies on a central screen the Rabbinical Committee advises travelers to avoid these flights if at all possible, and if not they should take along a folding mechitzoh, available by calling 057- 3155613.

Yechiel Sever, Yated Ne'eman, July 18, 2008

Apparently a crucial paragraph was edited out of the original Yated article:

Use of said "folding mechitzoh" on an airliner will probably result in federal criminal charges and a thorough Tazering at the hands of an annoyed 250 lb. air marshal. The devout "mechitzoh" user may also find him or herself spending the rest of the flight shackled to the lavatory door. Use at your own risk.

J.D.

Blog Review: Thoughts of A Secular Jew

2008-07-18T15:40:00.006-04:00

My recent exchange with Chaim Rubin has got me thinking. How does a blogger, who insists on criticizing a certain lifestyle and philosophy, strike the correct balance between intellectual, rational criticism and sarcastic cynicism? After all, once you have heard all the arguments, seen the evidence and critically evaluated the system in question, it can be difficult not to approach future critiques with a sense of beleaguered and jaded skepticism.

Recently, SJ (apparently short for "Secular Jew") left the following comment on an earlier thread: "everyone read my blog XD." The fact that SJ committed the ultimate offense against blogging netiquette, namely leaving a drive-by, shameless, self-promoting link dump, should have been the tip-off that the content of his blog would leave something to be desired. And yet I clicked anyways.

Amusingly, one of his posts is titled:

"WE [ORTHODOX JEWS] ARE NOT TOO STRICT! THE TALMUD IS ONLY 5,422 PAGES LONG!!!"

I hope he's never seen a copy of the Code of Federal Regulations, the Uniform Commercial Code or even Waddams on Contracts.

First of all, it is worth noting that SJ seems to feel that such trivialities as spelling, grammar and punctuation are for the birds. Fine. But he also seems to feel similarly about clear thinking and reasoning.

Bizarrely, he seems to be motivated by an Orthodox girl who spurned his advances:

"Today I saw that girl who in an earlier post I said how she was pissy with me...Her name is ############ Whine.....someshitlikethatiforgotexactly."

Boo hoo. I do not know how I can live! I take that back, yes I do know how I can live. Who do these religious girls think they are? I'd say something along the lines of self righteous.

Please, religious girls, save me your harassment. I prefer my weekends to be fun, which is one thing that synagogues don't understand either.

As an expression of hormone-infused, pubescent angst, SJ writes:

SHOMER NEGIAH IS NOT NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHOMER NEGIAH BELONGS IN AFGHANISTAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why someone who is a guy not born into orthodoxy, want to join into that society where talking to girls is greatly discouraged?

I will end with this final example of the crystal-clear thought and superb reasoning powers of SJ:

Let us presume that God intended Judaism to be a Judaism that the majority of jews can follow with minimum difficulty. This would make sense because, any more difficulty beyond the minimum would be self flagellation and self flagellation is retarded.

(I don't even need to mention that the above example of mental excrement appeared in a post entitled "Rav Moshe Feinstein: BURN IN HELL".)

Reading his blog makes me think a little bit more about the way I post. I do my very best (although I'm sure I often fail) to be clear, precise and articulate in my writing. The sort of boorish, puerile rants that SJ engages in, truly scare me. You see, I pray I never turn into him. In truth, I highly doubt that possibility, considering that I possess both a college education and an IQ above 75.

Don't get me wrong. I see many flaws in Orthodox Judaism in general and the Chareidi world in specific. I take issue with the lack of intellectual honesty, the failure to embrace critical scholarship and modern thought in addition to a general sense of xenophobia. However, if SJ thinks that his temper tantrums will do anything but further the Chareidi perception that all critics and skeptics are sexually obsessed lunatics, he is sadly mistaken.

He may just be an over-medicated fifteen year old, ravaged by ADHD, but in any case, SJ's blog makes for a pretty pathetic read.

J.D.

The Rebbe, the Messiah and Chaim Rubin

2008-07-17T15:35:00.001-04:00

Pravda Ne'eman recently ran a caption contest, inviting readers to appropriately title a bizarre photograph, taken in an American Lubavitch girls' school. The picture depicted a red carpet, leading up to a tinfoil-wrapped ladder. A picture of the late Lubavitcher Rebbe adorned the wall just above the ladder.

Chaim Rubin, instead of submitting a caption, posted the following comment:

Wow, it's really nice to see such Ahavas Yisroel. You lose all credibility for the good work you do when you post something like this. I'm very disappointed with you. I expected better.

When asked for a clarification of his objection, he wrote:

I guess you must really get kicks out of making fun of the Rebbe. This goes to show you that whatever issues guys like you have with Meshichisits is just a thinly veiled mask so you can attack Chabad in general.

I would like to respond in full to Chaim's comments because I think it is typical, at least in my experience, of a very common Chabad mindset.

In his retort, Chaim differentiates between "Meshichists" and "Chabad in general." He implies that while it may be legitimate to "have issues" with the former group, attacks on the latter are unwarranted and indicative of a shameful lack of "Ahavas Yisroel." When faced with Chaim's "j'accuse!" I both agree and disagree.

You see, it all depends on the definition of terms. How does one define "Meshichist?" More importantly, how does one define "Chabad in general?" There are a few distinct possibilities:

1) Meshichists have a range of beliefs that include - the Rebbe is the physical embodiment of the Divine (atzmus u'mehus meluvash b'guf); the Rebbe is still alive and never really died; the Rebbe is omniscient and continues to hear and respond to the prayers of the Chabad faithful; the Rebbe is most certainly returning as the Messiah and this should be proclaimed loudly.

2) "Chabad in general" can mean a wide variety of things as well - a movement that venerates the Rebbe to the point of infallibility and can tolerate no criticism of their late Leader; a group of people who are absolutely certain (or at the very least, quite sure) that the Rebbe will return as the Messiah but are unwilling to publicize it for public relations or other reasons; a Hassidic movement that follows the customs of Chabad-Lubavitch while maintaining a strong connection to the works of their now-deceased leader; or extremely rarely, a Hassidic movement that recognizes the dangerous flaws inherent in their late leader's eschatology.

In my experience (which by the way, includes Chabad day schools, overnight camps and educational programs), most Meshichists believe that in addition to being the Messiah, the Rebbe is omniscient and continues to hear and respond to the prayers of his flock. At the same time, the "Chabad in general" view seems to treat the Rebbe as infallible and a shoe-in for the Messiahship. They may remain quiet about this last point due to certain P.R. sensitivities.

Now, if that is actually the case, then both groups are equally worthy of the very same mockery and criticism that I so freely dish out towards the Chareidi worldview that venerates its leaders to (nearly) the same extent. The beliefs held by "Chabad in general," which I believe to be most prevalent, are as silly and infantile as anything the Yated has ever printed.

So Chaim, please tell me: when you accuse me of attacking "Chabad in general," which Chabad are you referring to? Are you referencing reality, or are you constructing a a wishful strawman of a movement that does not exist on the streets of Crown Heights, Morristown, Detroit or Montreal?

J.D.

Caption Contest

2008-07-16T15:51:00.002-04:00

All readers are invited to submit a caption for this photograph:

Huh?

2008-07-15T15:38:00.000-04:00

Larry Lennhoff recently posted a copy of an article that was printed in the American edition of the Yated Ne'eman. The article, entitled "Why do People Stay Orthodox?", examined various factors that contribute to the attractiveness of the Orthodox lifestyle.

Regarding those who leave the fold, the author writes:

"This abandonment is most often the result of physical and emotional issues, not because of any underlying ideological concerns that they have with Torah Judaism."

I offer 5 Pravda Pounds for any reader who can explain what on earth that statement means. Please, I need your help.

J.D.

Quote of the Day

2008-07-15T13:10:00.002-04:00

Bilaam was not a one-time phenomenon. He represents a symptom, a test case, an experiment, if you will. This is what knowledge, science, technology — and prophecy — look like by gentiles.

- Yated Ne'eman Staff, July 10, 2008

Chassidic Rebbe: Thou Shalt Not Be Fabulous

2008-07-11T15:12:00.001-04:00

I often wonder about the childish and immature behavior displayed by adult members of certain Chareidi groups. Violent protests, riots and other examples of hooliganism seem more like the angry tantrums of a frustrated four year-old than sincere acts of zealotry. The reason for this rank immaturity, I believe, is that these Chareidi adults (often in their thirties or forties) are treated like children by their leaders.

In that spirit, The Jewish Press reports on several recent proclamations issued by leaders of various insular Hassidic groups in New York State:

1. "A recent kol korei proclamation in several chassidishe advertising weeklies called upon ladies not to wear white jackets because they are striking and attract attention."

As a result the "ladies" Michael Jackson look-a-like contest has been canceled.

2. "The Vaad Mishmeres Machaneinu of Kiryas Yoel, organized to preserve women’s modesty, issued a full page kol korei proclamation regarding new styles of women’s shoes that are silver, gold, etc., that are 'stunning and attention-getting.'"

In other news, (one of) the Satmar Rebbe(s) fawned over a woman's flashy footwear, squealing, "Ohmygosh - your shoes are soooo stunning! And assur!"

3. "Rabbi Aaron Teitelbaum, Satmar Rebbe, issued a number of summertime guidelines [for chassidic men] ... They must attend, and never miss any, evening shiur nor should they go to sleep late. Further, when traveling to or from the Catskills, husbands must seek to take others along with them so that they do not travel alone."

In addition, the Rebbe added that they must sip, and never slurp, their soup; sit up straight in their chairs and remember to always tie their shoes before going outside. He also mentioned that they should wash their hands after using the toilet.

J.D.

71 Reasons Not to Talk to Boys (Part II)

2008-07-10T15:34:00.000-04:00

As promised, here is Part II of R2D2's comments on Frumteens' "71 Reasons Not to Talk to Boys."

11)They occupy your whole mind-you'll be thinking about them 24/7

Aluminum-foil hats and/or anti-psychotic medication can help with
this, a little.

12)You WILL regret anything you do with him

Especially if the police find the gun with your fingerprints on it.
What were you thinking going on a shooting spree at a children's
playground, you sociopath. That is so not hot!

13)IF you have the reputation for talking to boys, your friends will
get the same one, why would you want to do that to them?

This is especially true if you're a boy who talk to boys. Your friends
will be reputed to talk to boys.

14) At this age you say that you want a guy like this, etc..when you
get older your priorities will change and you might have hard time by
shidduchim

Try to think about what sort of guy you'll want in the retirement
community in Boca Raton and start looking NOW -- the male:female ratio
of folks in their 80's is rough business, so be proactive. Don't look
for a guy who will make you happy now -- that way lies madness!

15)Besides for just the obvious, you do so mnyn other aviros cus of
this-you lie-you get mad..

You forget how to spell words you could spell in the second grade...

16)Boys give you wayyyy too much confidence, and you get self centered

You might not even develop that eating disorder that all of your friends have.

17)You trick yourself into thinking you love him, but really it's just artificial

You have to read ALL of the ingredients!

18)Imagine kissing your husband, and thinking 'The last time i was
doing this it was with XYZ'

XYZ and I had a great time imagining kissing my husband.

19)You're always thinking about when he's gonna call, you can't think
about anything else

Then, when he does call, you're thinking your phone is ringing.

20)You start slacking off in school

And when you finally graduate from school, you stop going altogether!

Mehadrin Min HaMehadrin Buses

2008-07-09T14:40:00.000-04:00

The following press release was just issued from the offices of the Rabbinical Transportation Committee (Va'ad HaRabani Leman Kedushas HaTachburah). We are pleased to offer this exclusive preview of the latest Daas Torah pronouncement.

FROM THE COLLECTIVE MIND OF THE GEDOLEI HADOR, MORONON V'ROBONON:

We first wish to congratulate the holy and pure Chareidi public for their efforts on behalf of TorahTrue™ transportation. Over the years, we have worked hard to establish mehadrin bus lines that conform to the timeless and holy practices of our ancestors. By ensuring that women board using the rear door and remain confined to the back of the bus, we are protecting our pure children and adults from being faced by the numerous spiritual stumbling blocks that are posed by the lewd and lascivious sight of an elderly Hasidic grandmother in all her untoothed, beshawled glory.

But this is not enough. Even mehadrin bus lines leave the Chareidi public vulnerable to potent spiritual damage. Besides for the forbidden mingling of the sexes (this leads to mixed dancing), cultural and social intermingling is also strictly prohibited (this leads to tan pants).

Therefore, moronon v'robonon, in their inestimable wisdom have established the following seating rules for the God-fearing and pure Chareidi public:

1) Front - Driver (Obviously male, preferably non-Jew. No Jew should be working! Sephardim may apply)
2) First Section A - Litvish Chareidim (bearded)
3) First Section B - Litvish Chareidim (clean shaven)
4) Second Section A - Chassidim (wealthy ones and Rebbes)
5) Second Section B - Other Chassidim (except for Chabad and Breslov)
6) Third Section A - Sephardim (rich Syrians only)
7) Third Section B - Other Sephardim (no Yemenites please)
8) Fourth Section - Russians and fair-skinned immigrants
9) Fifth Section - Darkies

As can be seen from this list, women are no longer allowed on Mehardin Min HaMehadrin Buses. Riding a bus is much like riding a horse or a bicycle - an activity that is completely inappropriate for a true Bas Yisrael. Women, while supporting their husbands in kollel, must remain in their houses, caring for their children and family.

Any comments or questions can be forwarded to the Rabbinical Transportation Committee and they will... Who are we kidding? We don't care what you think.

J.D.

71 Reasons Not to Talk to Boys (Part I)

2008-07-08T14:40:00.000-04:00

Here is a guest post from Pravda Ne'eman commenter R2D2:

In perusing frumteens.com (the Chareidi response to bangitout.com)
recently, I happened upon a list that sheds light on the thoughts,
dreams, ambitions and neuroses of the eponymous frum teens. I share a
list of 71 reasons not to talk to boys, with my own thoughts. [The full list
can be found here. R2D2's comments will be posted incrementally - J.D.]

1) It's assur (the source is in the Igros Moshe, and somwhere else)

Assur - or religiously forbidden. Quoted are a book of letters from a
20th-Century rabbi, as well as the best-selling and oft-cited
"somewhere else."

2) Most parents don't let, and if they find out they'll kill you,
you'll lose all your privileges, it takes years to build up trust and
a only a second of doubt to lose it

Living the American dream, people who have chosen to raise a family
often buy their homes as a method of building up equity and benefiting
from various tax advantages. They own, so they don't let. If they find
out, they will kill you, which will of course limit your privileges,
such as breathing.

3) You risk getting caught by, and being thrown out of, your school

I don't really see the downside here.

4) You lose interest in your friends who will start to feel neglected,
and hate you

As they say, friendship means never having to say "I hate you, you
ignorant slut!!!"

5) You ruin you reputation. No one wants a bad one, and once your
stuck with it, it's hard to get rid of it

Basically, try not to get stuck with anything. If you do get stuck,
good luck getting rid of it. Also make sure you've had a tetanus shot
recently.

6) You WILL NOT stay shomer negiyah, which is also assur

Well, it seems like you will be giving up one issur for another.

7) The guy is 100% talking bad about you to his frineds in one way or another

I can hear it now: "You know that girl I used to hang out with? She's
f---ing nuts, and can't spell or use grammar worth a d--m."

8)All a guy wants at this age is play-and hell use you for that

Ah, the eschatological argument about guys and hell.

9)Every boy is a liar, a pervert, a jerk, and you will eventually find this out

They just need the right woman to bring out those qualities in them.

10)A guy will say anything-just to get you in bed

This was clearly plagiarized from a fortune cookie and needs no response.

[R2D2's comments on the Frumteens list will continue...]

A Baseball Glove

2008-07-04T15:25:00.000-04:00

In the Independence Day spirit, I thought I'd post this short piece that came with the Rawlings baseball glove I bought some years ago. This post, despite being five paragraphs of unrepentant glurge, is for all those who have had the joy of playing or watching baseball, the most beautiful game:

“A baseball glove is a beginning and an ending…a child’s first sure step toward adulthood; an adult’s final, lingering hold on youth. It is promise and memory.

A baseball glove is the dusty badge of belonging; the tanned and oiled mortar of team and camaraderie. In its creases and scuffs lodge sunburned afternoons freckled with thrills, the excited hum of competition, cheers that burst like skyrockets.

A baseball glove is Babe Ruth, Stan Musial, Mickey Mantle, Jackie Robinson, Johnny Bench, Ozzie Smith and a thousand-and-one names and moments strung like white and crimson banners in the vast stadium of memory.

A baseball glove is the leather of adventure, worthy successor to the cowboy’s holster, the trooper’s saddle and buckskin lace of the frontier scout. It is combat, heroics and victory…a place to smack a fist or snuff a rally.

Above all, a baseball glove is the union of family recreation and togetherness; a union beyond language, creed or color.”

J.D.

The Gedolim Merry-Go-Round

2008-07-04T14:44:00.001-04:00

Daniel Eidensohn, on his Daas Torah blog, writes approvingly about the Chareidi attitude towards "gedolim":

"A gadol is someone whose authority transcends his footnotes. He is a rabbi that we accept what he says - because he said it – not because of the sources and reasoning he marshals to buttress his arguments."

There you have it, folks. Despite the wailing of Chareidi Jewry about the supremacy of Torah wisdom and the towering intellect of their leaders, we see that it is not about "sources and reasoning." It is about subjugating one's own mind and reasoning to the opinion of a gadol.

In fact, Eidensohn claims that a true gadol needs only cite his own opinion. There is no need for logic, proof or evidence to support a gadol's assertion. Indeed, Eidensohn derides his interlocutor (one "RAP") for doing just this:

"He invariably does not cite any sources – other than his own opinion. And yet he expects the rest of us to accept what he says because he says it. He is acting as if he were a gadol – but none of us accept him as such."

At the end of the day, the Chareidi position is mind numbingly circular: The gadol is a gadol ... because he is a gadol. And why must he be followed? Because he is a gadol.

My head hurts.

J.D.