Yated Survey Part II

As we discussed earlier this week, the online edition of the Yated Ne'eman posted a survey. Truly a watershed moment - the Yated was stooping to the regular "pashute yidden" to ask for their opinion. Yep, "public opinion." Pinch me, I must be dreaming.

As a civic-minded individual, I have decided to fill out the Yated's survey. Instead of emailing it to the good commissars at the Yated, I will post it here at chareidi.com instead. I know they read it.

The original text of the feedback form is posted below in bold; my responses are in regular type.

FEEDBACK We would appreciate a little feedback on our site. We are interested to read whatever you have to say [snort! -J.D.], but may we suggest that you address one or more of the following:

* How often do you visit?
Daily. No, hourly. I await, with great anticipation and much consternation, your weekly updates. I have been known to browse your archives for minutes at a time, searching for that perfect piece, that vintage Yated screed, combining ignorance, arrogance and scathing criticism for those who question the infallibility of the Yated. (Many such gems have been unearthed).

* Which category of article is of greatest interest to you? (You can choose as many as you wish.) 1] News; 2] Calendar; 3] Divrei Torah; 4] Criticism of others
The Yated wants me to select the category of article that is of "greatest interest" to me. At the same time, I am told that I can choose as many as I wish.

Okay. Let's get this straight: greatest... as many as I wish. Hmm... maybe I'm missing something: greatest... as many as I wish. Perhaps who ever authored this survey needs to take a primary school grammar lesson (or is it a grammar school primary lesson?) in superlatives. Oh the joys of an elementary school secular education.

1] News - Well I do like news. However,"news" is a bit too neutral of a term to describe the Yated's weekly reports. I would describe it as "selective reporting, intended for the ignorant peasant masses, filtered through the political and religious agenda of the Yated's controlling overlords." Or something like that.

2] Calendar - I didn't even know you had a calendar. Perhaps you give the days of the week funny names. I could mock that. I'll have to look into it.

3] Divrei Torah - Yawn... Sometimes they contain historical distortions, outright lies and profoundly stupid comments. I suppose those are somewhat interesting to me.

4] Criticism of others - Yippee!! These are my absolute, 100%, number one favorites. In fact Yated, they are the "greatest." They are my bread and butter. You see, it is often in these "criticism of others" pieces where you reveal the depth of your own intolerance and insularity. Please, sir, I want some more.

* Do you have any suggestions for our site?
Just three simple suggestions: More bile. More vitriol. More updates.

* Is it important to you that our site continue?
Important? It is absolutely crucial to me! Truthfully, now that I have branched out into other forms of Chareidi mockery, I would not be devastated if you did not continue. Displeased but not devastated.

Yours very sincerely,
J.D.

P.S. If any chareidi.com readers would like to suggest their own responses to the Yated survey, feel free to do so in the comments below.

www.chareidi.com - New URL

Pravda Ne'eman has a new home - www.chareidi.com

The old URL (chareidi.blogspot.com) and RSS feed will still work but it will redirect to www.chareidi.com and to the new RSS feed.

Please update your bookmarks/readers accordingly.

Chareidim Riot - Again

Here are some pictures (from the Chareidi discussion forums on the Israeli Hyde Park site) of today's riot in the Chareidi neighborhood of Geula, in Jerusalem:

The background to this latest riot can be found here (in Hebrew).

The Yeshiva World (link) titled their story about this latest hooliganism as follows: "Police Demands for an Autopsy Results in Jerusalem Violence." That's right. The natural reaction, nay the only result that could possibly occur following such an outlandish demand is violence. How silly of the police to have not anticipated this level-headed, entirely justified Chareidi response? Better luck next time, I suppose.

On the other hand, the Yeshiva World does paint an accurate picture of the scene: "A number of local shop owners who tried to intervene, pulling garbage receptacles out of the way of cars, were bullied by hoodlums, who decided the streets will remain closed despite causing significant hardship to many, as well as loss of business to local Geula and Meah Shearim merchants, not to mention the property damage and the aftermath which residents are forced to live with for some time until Jerusalem City Hall replaces the trash receptacles."

How can Chareidi Jews complain about the actions of these "hoodlums"? After all, it is the Chareidi educational system that has taught them to hate and deride non-Chareidim, to disrespect the State of Israel (or any governmental entity - e.g. I.R.S., H.U.D., for that matter), and to force their points of view (with violence, if necessary) upon others. You've made your bed, now lie in it.

J.D.

Pravda Gear

We have decided to offer some subversive apparel for sale through CafePress. Wear them in Flatbush, Boro Park or to your cousin's l'chaim! Guaranteed to turn a few heads.

Here is our first Kollel Alumnus T-Shirt. It is 2-sided, each side more kefiradik than the next. Please note that this T-Shirt is enthusiastically approved and recommended by all of the Gedolei Hador (that we asked).

Front:


Back:


Click here for more information.

UPDATE: Mugs now available.

Haloscan

Haloscan comments have been added.

J.D.

Pravda Ne'eman Redux

After a nearly two-year absence, Pravda Ne'eman has decided to resume active blogging.

Why did we stop blogging? A combination of factors led us to cease our (time consuming) blog effort: the hectic kollel schedule, various family responsibilities and finally the workload that comes with the pursuit of advanced professional degrees.

Who are we? Pravda Ne'eman has always been a group effort. In fact, we are a pair of bloggers - J.D. and M.D. From now on, all posts will be signed by the authoring blogger.

Why are we back? Well, we are both older now (and somewhat wiser?) and perhaps more adept at time management. In addition, the separation of posts by author should lead to a doubling of our output. Or one lazy blogger. Who knows?

Please feel free to read our archives, comment actively on our new posts and join the Pravda community.

J.D. and M.D.

Yated's Survey

Sometimes the Yated publishes something so asinine, so utterly and completely absurd, that it forces Pravda to return to its fine mocking form.

This survey is currently at the top of their site:

FEEDBACK
We would appreciate a little feedback on our site. We are interested to read whatever you have to say, but may we suggest that you address one or more of the following:
...
*Which category of article is of greatest interest to you? (You can choose as many as you wish.)
1] News; 2] Calendar; 3] Divrei Torah; 4] Criticism of others

How refreshingly honest of the Yated! They openly admit that 1/4 of their content consists of "criticism of others"! (In fact, one could aver that it's closer to 1/2, but who's counting?)

Does Yated really see "criticism of others" as a critical part of its mission? It would appear that the editors of Yated feel, like most chareidi people, that the best way to justify their insular lifestyle and narrow view of the world is to denigrate those who do not share their opinions. Yes, criticism of others is indeed a mainstay of the Yated propaganda stream.

The word "other" is also notable. An "other" creates an "us vs. them" mentality. The Chareidi TorahTrue Jews are pitted, in the Yated's twisted view, in an eternal struggle with the others - those wretched villians - be they Modern Orthodox, Conservative, Reform or (gasp!) the most feared of all - Goyim.

(link)

[Tip of the hat to the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe]

J.D.