JImmy's Survey

A while back, JImmy (of Harry Maryles fame) posted a comment on my very first post. His comment, in the form of a sarcastic survey, purported to determine whether or not I was a "real centrist." I answered him in kind. Some readers have said that this response deserved a post of its own, so here it is.

As an aside, I have never claimed to be centrist. I think it is an arrogant and useless term. Everyone, deep down thinks of themselves as centrists. Reform Jews are centrists: not like those off-the-map Mordecai Kaplan Reconstructionists or those right wing Conservative Jews. Satmar Chassidim are centrists: not like those left wing Agudah-niks or those crazy, fanatical Neturei Karta nutjobs.

JImmy posted:
Do you think that you're a real centrist? Well, your answers to this checklist will help you in your quest for self-awareness.

What is your attitude toward chariedim?
a)indifferrence
b) you'll laugh at an anti-chardie joke
c) virulent animosity

Rabbi Soloveitchick was the greatest mind of ?
a) the fifities
b) forties
c) century

When there are a number of mutually exclusive interpretations of Rabbi Soloveitchick's statemtents, which one is correct?
a) all of them
b) only the most controversial
c) the one that is best suited for your lifestyle

When your daughter's date brings his tephilin, your reaction is
a) silence, because you don't want to impose your views
b) happy that she is conforming to societal norms
c) excstatic, at least the boy is not a charedie

I replied:
Hi JImmy. First of all, let me say that it is nice to have you on board. I'm sure Harry will thank me for giving him a break from your comments.

Although I recognize that your survey was intended in the typical self-congratulatory and arrogant Chareidi style, I don't mind responding to your questions. Obviously, I will not be choosing any of the answers you provided; doing so would only succumb to your "false dichotomy" (or trichotomy, here) logical fallacy.

1. Q. What is your attitude toward chareidim?
A. Read this blog and find out. As far as my attitude towards chareidim, as individuals, I would say that I often have only the best things to say about them. (This is the part where I write: some of my best friends are...) Chareidim are kind, conscientious, devoted and community-minded. Other times, they are arrogant, close-minded, selfish and divisive. Like most people. In terms of the system, well I'm sure my views will become clear during our future discussions and in my forthcoming posts.

2. Q. Rabbi Soloveitchick was the greatest mind of ?
A. That depends. R' Velvel or R' Chaim?

3. Q. When there are a number of mutually exclusive interpretations of Rabbi Soloveitchick's statements, which one is correct?
A. I'll assume you mean the Brisker Rav here. In that case, it is whatever R' Avraham Yehoshua says it is. Not some krum peshat by R' Dovid ch"v.

4. Q. When your daughter's date brings his tephilin, your reaction is...?
A. Complete and utter shock. My daughter is, after all, barely out of diapers.