The Making of a Koton

Many will remember the controversy of several years ago regarding R' Nosson Kamenetsky's now-banned book, The Making of a Godol.

Yated is often behind the times, so publishing an article on an issue that was a hot-button topic three years ago is really quite normal for them.

Here is Pravda Ne'eman's commentary on a recent Yated article, "On Writing Biographies of Gedolim." Great title, by the way!

"From time to time criticisms are raised about the genre of biographies of gedolim."

And with good reason too! Biographies of Gedolim are often repetitive and boring narrations of the very same story line. Godol X born in Town Y. At age 5, his father/local melamed was unable to teach him anything new, so he went (usually walking the whole way barefoot) to Town Z to continue his studies. He was known there as the "Ilui of Y" and mastered all of Shas and Poskim by his Bar Mitzvah. Repeat ad nauseum. There is nothing there to inspire or assist the common Jew on his personal journey to greatness.

"Although our work is not singled out for criticism..."

Ever seen Pravda Ne'eman? And we know for a fact that you have. But it is good to keep convincing yourselves that you're above criticism.

"In order to fully appreciate the life of a Torah giant, one has to be generally interested in the lives of other people and one must be interested specifically in a Torah life. Many complaints come from critics who lack one of these interests and sometimes both."

Can you say low blow? Ouch. Demonstrated here is a classic Yated strategy: delegitimize your critics by claiming that they are a) not interested in the lives of other people (whatever on earth that means) and b) completely irreligious.

"One who is not particularly interested in a Torah life cannot be expected to appreciate the specific areas of interest and achievement that characterize individual Torah leaders."

Okay okay! Stop insulting the critics and avoiding the issues!

"A related complaint that is sometimes made is that we leave out information."

A related complaint? Many would say that "leaving out information" is the main complaint. But always remember to trivialize the main issues.

"This is true, but the reason is that in our Torah-based scale of values, the harm or embarrassment that can be caused to someone rates much higher than the needs of the historical record or journalistic objectivity."

What embarrassment? There will only be embarrassment if you perceive these "deleted episodes" to have been embarrassing to the Godol in question. If they helped him to grow or develop a more nuanced worldview, nothing could be further from embarrassing! It is only by deleting these vignettes that the Gedolim are embarrassed.

"Even after we take this out, there is always plenty of material for our readers."

There seems to have been a typographical error here, the sentence should actually read as follows: "Even after we take this out, there is always plenty of paper to line our readers' birdcages."

For an interesting and far more complete treatment of this topic, see the introduction to R' Nosson Kamenetsky's The Making of a Godol, available here.

Next time, put your money where your mouth is...

M. Plaurt: Reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated!

Things sure change mighty fast out here in the Jblogosphere. Yesterday, our readership was informed of Pravda's decision to close up shop, sell out and move to the beach at Zihuatanejo.
As you remember, an anonymous and extremely generous donor (a Mr. **UM**EN) offered Menachem Plaurt & Co. a large sum of money to stop publishing vitriolic anti-Yated articles.

However, this just in:
"I wouldn't pay a wooden nickel to shut you down. I let Hashem take care of that."
-Mr. FR**T** himself

Some points to ponder:

a) Can anyone be trusted in today's cutthroat blog-eat-blog-osphere? Apparently not.

b) Regarding Toby Katz's observation that many of our reader's comments are crass and boorish, we would like to remind her that PN, unlike Cross-Currents, does not believe in censoring our commentators' valuable input.

Your Shakespearen insult was well taken, in good humor of course. In reply, we have the two following bons mots.

"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion."
-Henry Steele Commager

"Get thee to a nunnery!"
Hamlet (III, i, 122)

c) Like another religion's beloved Messiah, Pravda Ne'eman does not die so easily.

So long Jbloggers!

Dear Readers,

In light of the recent trend sweeping the Jblogs and other considerations (as will be explained below), this will be Pravda Ne'eman's final post.

On many occasions this blog has crossed the bounds of decency, hurling undeserved criticism at a particularly dedicated and hard-working group of Torah journalists.

In an related bit of news, I have been offered a significant amount of money from an anonymous Chareidi donor (it turns out that one of our favourite commentators, a Mr. FR**TE** is quite loaded!) and a lifetime subscription to a certain B'nei Brak-based publication in return for my promise to cease posting on this blog.

Who could refuse such an offer?

Please leave your condolences here.

Yours,
Menachem Plaurt

Yated: Ethiopian Jews are Goyim

The big thinkers at Yated were at a loss this week, as they attempted to come up with offensive articles. "Who should we bash? YU? Wig-wearers? Independant thinkers?" They scratched their heads and hopped about like laboratory monkeys on amphetamines.

This week, Yated published an article with the following headline:

"More and More Goyim Want to Move to Israel"

Sounds exciting! Who could these mysterious goyim be? Fundamental Christians from Texas wanting to move to the Holy Land in preparation for Rapture? Noahides from Seattle looking to get closer to God? Nope.

The article continues... (Note: Anyone who is sensitive to stupidity and prone to breaking random objects when confronted with abject bigotry should stop reading at this point.)

"The Israeli government has decided to bring over the entire Falashmura community in Addis Ababa."

That's right, the Yated has ruled, conclusively and decisively as always, that all Ethiopian Falashas are goyim. Not full Jews (R' Ovadya Yosef*). Not possible Jews (R' Y. Herzog). Not former Jews who should be assisted, educated and converted (R' Moshe Feinstein**). Nope, they're all Goyim.

* See Yabi'a Omer, vol. 8 Even Ha-Ezer no. 11
** See Iggros Moshe, Yoreh De'ah 4:41

Let Us Make the Gedolim in our Image

"If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say of this or that event, it never happened -- that, surely, was more terrifying than mere torture and death."
-Nineteen Eighty-Four

Yated Ne'eman has a curious habit of trying to rewrite history to fit with their current ideals and philosophies. If a Godol every did or said something that ran contrary to these accepted views, Yated does everything in their power to erase that discrepancy. They will distort, fabricate or even tell outright lies in order to preserve their picture of the past. In this way, the Yated attempts to recreate the Gedolim of the past in their Chareidi image. In truth, nothing could be more insulting to the memory of these holy leaders of Israel.

1) R' Shlomo Zalman Auerbach
In a recent article, Yated had the following to say about R' Auerbach: "...unfortunately, among those who spoke and wrote about Maran following his histalkus were proponents of compromise who made empty remarks attempting to compare Maran to them, rather than the opposite."

Oh no! R' Shlomo Zalman could never have compromised, chas v'shalom chas v'shalom, on anything. Only reshayim and YU graduates compromise! If he compromised that means he may have been nice and none of the Gedolim were nice, never!

2) R' Yitzchak Hutner
In a piece describing the life of R' Hutner, one will find that this great leader of 20th century Jewry has been conveniently Chareidized. There is no mention of his extremely close relationship with R' Kook (gasp!) or his time in University at Berlin, where he studied philosophy (double gasp!).

It is interesting to compare that article with Wikipedia's biography or that of the OU. It is difficult to imagine why Yated didn't quote R' Hutner as telling R' Shlomo Farfield that the root of his own soul was the same as that of R' Kook's. Strange. Although it is well know that R' Hutner disagreed with R' Kook on many political issues, it is a tremendous disgrace to the memory of R' Hutner to somehow pretend that this relationship did not exist. But then again, when you can revise the past, it is always a good idea to edit out those inconvenient parts.

3) R' Shlomo Wolbe
What could one say to possibly describe this giant of Torah and Mussar, an amazing synthesis of Hirschian Torah-im-Derech-Eretz and Lithuanian mussar?
What praise does Yated use to sum up the accomplishments of "The Mashgiach"?

"He encouraged and attended the large gathering on Motzei Shabbos Parshas Vayigash this year, where maranan verabonon announced the ban against the use of cell phones."

How great was R' Wolbe? Well, he came to our cell phone meeting. Great. Naturally, there is no mention of his published position against avreichim continuing to learn when they lack the financial means to remain in Kollel. Nope, that never happened.

The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising: Vain Self-Glorification

Recently, there has been much debate on the jblogs regarding Yom Ha'Shoah. However, Yated in their latest outrageous attempt at social commentary does not mention the controversy of that particular day of mourning. Instead they lash out vitriolically at some of the well-known heroes of that dark era in Jewish history.

Here is Yated's idiotic take on the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising.

Their ridiculous headline sums it all up:

"The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising: Throwing Away One's Life for Three Lines in History"

Why did these brave men and women choose to fight the Nazis, knowing that they were doomed to die in the death camps of Poland?

Yated's answer:
"...vain pride and empty self-glorification."

Many would posit that these fighters knew that they had no chance of success, yet decided to ensure that as many Nazis as possible perished with them. Sounds pretty heroic.

Not according to Yated:
"This was not heroism... it was no more than an act of despair without any hope of real conventional success."

Some would praise these Jews and compare them to Shimshon, who died saying "Let me die with these Philistines!"

As always, Yated sees things differently:
"...self-defense in such circumstances would be nothing other than hopeless and senseless suicide."

All this makes one wonder, are the editors and writers of Yated Ne'eman so utterly senseless to believe the drivel that they publish?

The Confused Quinoa Kanoyim

It was late one Tuesday evening, the night before the Israeli Yated publishes their online edition, and the editors were scratching their heads.

"It's only one week until Pesach," they moaned. "And we haven't yet suceeded in making all Chareidi housewives completely nuts." Ideas were tossed around. Bans and cherems hotly debated. What would the article include? There was just so much: from R' Blumenkrantz's latest 600-page manifesto banning gluesticks, garbage cans and nitrogen peroxide, to the new "South American Babazooba: All Meat is Treif" scandal. What would it be?

So one week before Pesach, the following "Notice" was published in Yated Ne'eman.

"Quinoa Should Not be used on Pesach!"

Instead of providing a comprehensive article explaining exactly why this delightful grain-like dish has been banned, the Yated merely wrote the following:

"Full details will be published in the Pesach edition."

How convenient. "That will insure that no one will be able to refute our faulty understanding of Holocho," thought the Yated Staff. Nope, that will have to wait for next week.

The next week brought with it one of the most bizzare articles Yated has ever published. The following is excerpted from the Pesach edition of Yated, interspersed with the helpful commentary of Pravda Ne'eman.

"For our Pesach issue we received a very nice article on quinoa."

Something nice in the Yated? Ooh, we can see this thing turning ugly real quickly.

"For some years, it was widely believed that quinoa is permissible on Pesach...[because of] a ruling given by HaRav Blau of Yerushalayim in 5756 (1996)."

So far so good.

"However when we called to verify this ruling, as we routinely do, we got a surprise."

The Yated calls to verify the ruling about quinoa on a yearly basis? Why? Just to check if it hasn't yet altered its molecular structure? This is proof positive that Yated Ne'eman believes strongly in evolution.

"HaRav Blau told us unequivocally that he does not give out any halachic information about quinoa and refused to discuss the issue any further."

Ouch. Don't take that quinoa so personally.

"[The Eidah Chareidis] referred us to Rav Brizel, who is in charge of "Spices and Kitniyos" and is thus their expert on this matter."

Good. What happened next?

"Rav Brizel said that he has been carrying around a picture of the plant for more than a year but still does not feel that he knows all that he would like to know."

The expert has been carrying a picture of it for a year? Is it in his wallet next to his wife, children and brocolli photos? Okay...

Following that utterly confusing and convulated article, Yated then printed some tasty quinoa recipes, including "Quinoa and Cauliflower" and "Quinoa Pilaf." That's right, delicious recipes for the food that they had just banned. Maybe next month we'll be treated to Fried Ham and Bacon Fricasee courtesy of Yated's Culinary Column.